How often should friends with benefits text?

The frequency of texting between friends with benefits (FWB) depends on the boundaries, expectations, and comfort levels of both individuals involved. Since the relationship is based on friendship and mutual benefits rather than a traditional romantic partnership, the communication dynamics can differ. While there is no one-size-fits-all answer, here are some factors to consider when determining how often friends with benefits should text:

1. Establishing Boundaries and Expectations

Discuss Expectations Early: From the beginning, both individuals should talk openly about what they want from the relationship, including how often they expect to communicate outside of their physical encounters. Clarifying these expectations can help prevent misunderstandings later on.
Define the Relationship Type: Some FWB arrangements are casual, while others may involve more emotional connection. If both people are comfortable with a more emotionally detached dynamic, less frequent texting may be expected. However, if there's more emotional intimacy, texting could be more frequent.

2. Casual and Low-Key Communication

Every Few Days or Weekly: For many FWB relationships, texting a few times a week is often the sweet spot. The messages may be casual check-ins or reminders of when you'll next meet up, without the pressure of daily communication. The texting should feel light and comfortable, not forced or excessive.
No Obligation to Text Constantly: Unlike in romantic relationships where frequent texting may be expected, friends with benefits don’t necessarily need to text every day. If texting feels like an obligation or pressure, it could create unnecessary strain on the arrangement.

3. Texting When It’s Convenient

Text When You Want to: With FWB arrangements, texting should be more about convenience and mutual enjoyment rather than fulfilling expectations. If both people are comfortable texting sporadically, there is no need for constant communication. Text when it feels right for both of you, whether it’s to plan your next meet-up, check in, or share something funny.
Keep It Light and Fun: Texts should be enjoyable and not feel like a burden. Sending a funny meme or casual "how’s your day?" every few days can keep things light without making texting feel like an obligation.

4. When You’re About to Meet Up

Pre-Meet Texts: When planning your next encounter, texting in the lead-up can ensure everything is coordinated and expectations are aligned. This can be a simple “What time works for you?” or “Looking forward to seeing you later.”
Post-Meet Texts: After the meet-up, a simple text like “Had fun, let’s do it again soon” can help keep the vibe positive and show mutual respect without over-texting.

5. Respecting Personal Space

Avoid Over-texting: In FWB relationships, there should be respect for each other's personal space and boundaries. If texting becomes constant or intrusive, it may begin to blur the lines of the casual nature of the arrangement. It's important to recognize when texting is starting to feel like more than just casual interaction.
Give Space When Needed: If one person needs some downtime or space, it’s important to respect that without feeling the need to text constantly. Taking a break between meet-ups can help keep things fresh and prevent things from getting too clingy.

6. Communication About Feelings

Texting for Clarity: If feelings start to develop or if one person feels uncomfortable with the texting frequency, it’s important to have a clear conversation about it. Both individuals should be open to adjusting the communication frequency if either party feels like it’s going beyond the agreed-upon boundaries of the FWB relationship.
Set Limits: If texting starts to feel too romantic or emotional, it’s important to revisit the original boundaries. Being upfront about any changes in comfort levels can help ensure that both people stay on the same page.

7. When Should You Text More Frequently?

In Between Meet-Ups: If both people enjoy regular communication, texting might increase between meetings to maintain a light connection. This can include sending funny messages, sharing interesting thoughts, or keeping the friendly connection alive.
During Times of Absence: If one person goes away or has a busy schedule, texting may become more sparse. However, if you enjoy each other's company, sending an occasional “Hope you’re doing well” message can maintain the casual connection without creating any pressure.

8. Signs You’re Texting Too Much

Over-Texting Feels Like a Burden: If texting starts to feel like an obligation or is interfering with other aspects of life, it’s time to reevaluate the texting frequency.
One-Sided Communication: If one person is texting much more often than the other, it may indicate a mismatch in expectations. It's important that both people feel comfortable with the balance of texting.

9. Maintaining Balance

Be Honest and Transparent: Regularly check in with each other about how the texting dynamic feels. If either person feels overwhelmed or disconnected due to texting habits, open communication can help adjust the frequency.
Avoid Overtexting During Emotional Moments: Since FWB relationships are typically not meant to have deep emotional involvement, texting during emotional moments, like after an argument or tough day, can complicate the situation. Keep the communication light, unless both of you are comfortable with deeper discussions.

Conclusion

How often friends with benefits should text really depends on mutual preferences, the nature of the relationship, and the comfort levels of both parties. In general, texting a few times a week is common and sufficient to keep the connection light, fun, and comfortable. The key is to ensure that texting feels natural and doesn’t cross into the territory of an emotional or romantic relationship unless both individuals are okay with that. Open communication is critical to maintaining a healthy FWB arrangement where both people are comfortable and on the same page regarding texting frequency.